The
News
01Dec2007
Ill in Brisbane
Languishing in my hotel room in Brisbane with a nasty case of tonsillitus. Thankfully it’s one where I can open the windows! (THe last few have been sealed..) However I have taken the time to read a brilliant book that Karen gave me in Sydney, called American Hoax, it’s by Charles Firth from Ozzie satirical news show ‘The Chaser’. I haven’t seen the show yet, but if it’s half as intelligent as this bloke seems to be it must be amazing.
We play tonight then tomorrow it’s off to NZ, and the end of the tour, although not for me..I’m heading back to Sydney to hang out and (hopefully) do some promo for my own show on Dec 12th. I’m really excited about it, and hope I can get an audience in…After that I go to Melbourne to appear in a musical comedy TV show called Spicks and Specks, which seems to be very highly regarded..Then I can drag my weary carcass up to Bali to finally get a holiday with my family, something I couldn’t do this summer as I was just too busy..
Hope all is good with everyone..
xGuy
25 comments
Chris - December 1, 2007 4:22 PM
Spicks And Specks = Never Mind The Buzzcocks. But really good and deserving of all the high praise. The Chaser’s show is great as well, worth checking out if you get the chance.
I’ll be there in Sydney on the 12th, so you have at least one audient.
Paul Sexton - December 1, 2007 4:56 PM
Have a good one, Guy!
Cheers
Paul
Phoenix - December 1, 2007 6:54 PM
Hope the tonsillitus clears up quickly, dude.
And happy holidays to you and your family!
karen - December 3, 2007 10:07 AM
Happy you like.
Helen - December 3, 2007 1:54 PM
I was watching clips of the Russian gigs on Youtube last night, just after reading the description in your book of an earlier trip to the USSR (which, by the way, had me doing that embarrassing thing of getting fits of giggles while reading it on the train). If you could spare the time to write a few words about this year’s visit, that would be fab. I hope the tonsils are sorted soon.
Paul - December 5, 2007 12:13 PM
Hello Guy;
Forgive me if you’ve read this already ? It does have an element of truth to it, and may I end it with ” Here Endeth The Lesson ” ! Maybe
Hope you are enjoying your Australian holiday.
Cheers
Paul
Curse of the Bass Player
In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz — nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old …definitely pre- C.B.S. And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn’t be improved on at all (though men would later try.)
And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass. and lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful ‘sunburst’ red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.)
And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork.
Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky. And God heard this funkiness and He said, “Go man, go.” And it was good. And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.
And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn’t even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying “Don’t do that!” Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that’s another story.)
And God heard this — how could He miss it — and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, “Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts.”
And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it.
But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon’ the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.
Now God’s wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man. And He said, “O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of.” “And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer.”
“You think you’re loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass.” “And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this: that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say “Wow” but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you’re ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands.
And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night.” “And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink.”
And it was so.
Spider - December 6, 2007 12:18 PM
Have fun on holiday Mr Pratt!
Gabrielle Childers - December 6, 2007 11:35 PM
Hey Guy!
I trust that you’re feeling better and must have reached the ‘hanging out’ part of the journey;^) And, yes, I bet you’re having all kinds of fond memories of Oz from back in the day!! Hmmm, nefarious … naw, you’re past all that, right?
Sounds like you’ll have a fun gig on the 12th and I wish I could attend. Damn, are you ever going to bring you’re show to the Pacific Northwest? We’re waiting patiently here and in need of a good belly laugh!
Have a fabulous holiday in Bali (I’m trying not to be too terribly envious, really I am:{ ). I’ve never been but it sounds fantastic, especially now with two feet of snow outside my door. You sure you wouldn’t prefer a nice cross-country ski holiday? I’d be more than happy to trade .…
You’ve been getting a lot of play via David’s chatroom lately and interest in your book is spreading like wildfire!! I think there will be a rise in sales for the holiday season:-) Will you ever be able to restore your reputation?? Huh, what reputation you ask?? Guy, you really make me laugh and I just want to thank you for that, truly.
Peace, love and happiness to you/yours!
Gabrielle
Washington State
Gabrielle Childers - December 6, 2007 11:43 PM
Hey Guy,
Just me again. I’m going to message your myspace page. If you get a chance maybe you could get back to me on this, but no pressure — I know you have alot of irons in the fire.
Thanks much!
Gabrielle
karen - December 9, 2007 9:53 AM
hi,
try as I might, seems 12th dec is clashing with a couple of work christmas parties, and the lure of free alcohol is too much for many people
hence I will be sad lone audiencee
karen
Ricardo Padua - December 10, 2007 8:46 PM
A bit off topic but I just have to ask:
Anyone got a ticket to the Zep reunion tonight?
Paul - December 11, 2007 1:09 PM
Guy, If you’re up for a bevvie when you get to Melbourne.…let me know ! Good luck with the show in Sydney.
Cheers
Paul
P.S. Did you ever tour with Jerry Burns. I loved that album, and saw somewhere that she toured in the early 90’s with Bill Dillon etc ?
Gabrielle Childers - December 12, 2007 6:07 AM
Hey Guy,
Have a fantastic time with the show! I’d love to read your own, personal review if you find the time — you can review yourself AND the audience! I’m sure it will be a fun time for all and I wish I could be there too. I’m still keeping my hopes high for a ‘left coast’ appearance. You know that Irregulars would travel great distances to have you entertain us — we could even heckle you in order to generate some audience participation and give you the opportunity to go Don Rickles on us!! What fun we could have …
Peace and love!
Gabrielle
karen - December 13, 2007 12:27 AM
hi,
just a quick note to say, really loved the show, very very funny.
i could say which parts i loved most but i don’t want to give anything away to people who not seen the show.
we hope you enjoy the wine.
looking forward to ‘Spicks and Specks’.
karen.
Paul Sexton - December 13, 2007 6:25 PM
Hi Karen,
Well pleased for you, i remember our posts before i seen Guy in Edinburgh.…Cheers
Paul
Paul Sexton - December 13, 2007 8:14 PM
http://www.youtube.com/StSanders
Hope everybody finds this as funny as i did… it’s very well done, Santana made me cry!
Paul
Paul - December 14, 2007 12:19 AM
The ” shredding ” posts have been great. Paul and Guy…there’s a Jaco one as well if interested.….they’re very well done. Here tis !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKCwH3amLaU
karen - December 14, 2007 2:17 AM
Hey Paul,
Yes, I have seen the show and met the man and survived both, or more importantly he survived both.
Karen.
Paul Sexton - December 14, 2007 6:41 PM
Aye he’s not a bad chap now!!..
karen - December 15, 2007 2:11 AM
Very much a lovely gentleman. Who took the time out to met, have quick chat, have photo with and even mention me on this blog, for which I thank him.
Karen.
Michèle - December 15, 2007 4:08 PM
Merry Christmas, Guy, to you and your family!
I saw you three times in France last year and of course watched the RTN dvd, I very much appreciated your sense of humour, your ‘joie de vivre’ and of course your musical talents!
Michèle
Michèle - December 15, 2007 4:09 PM
Phoenix, if you are reading…
Joyeux Noël, mon amie…
Michèle
Phoenix - December 15, 2007 6:02 PM
Joyeux Noël à tu, Michèle! Il neige ici! IL NEIGE ICI! Woohoo!
And since it’s snowing like crazy here, I’m trying to convince my co-workers that we need a snowball fight! And later on, I’m having hot chocolate (like this surprises anyone).
Hey, Mr. Padua, whatever happened to the webcam comments? When you asked for testers, I submitted one, and never saw the comment published. It didn’t give me any error messages and the monitor thing worked, so it appeared to be operating correctly.
Everyone, be safe and warm if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, or be cool if you’re in the Southern (this means you too, Guy!)
Nix.
Phoenix - December 15, 2007 11:40 PM
Let’s see if this one makes it through the filter…
[riffly_video]CF6BBC1CAB5D11DC9B0D44CF0D09CCE3[/riffly_video]
Phoenix - December 16, 2007 5:16 AM
Ironic I was wearing my OAI shirt to work today.
Hmm. There’s a marketing idea for you folks. I’d buy a Guy t‑shirt if there were any available. Heck, I’d be happy to design a few things if anyone was interested.
Glad to be of service, Mr. Padua, cheers.
Nix.